In an interview with The Watercooler, Lost Girl series creator Michelle Lovretta discussed the sexual content of the show. She outlined the rules she devised for portraying sex and sexuality, but she admitted that the show isn’t always successful at following them.

We discuss these rules with our guest, writer and filmmaker Melanie Killingsworth. Melanie writes about film and television at her blog mehlsbells, and you can follow her on Twitter @mehlsbells.

Our discussion was very lively, and it needed to be split over two episodes. In this episode, we discuss Michelle Lovretta's first rule about slut-shaming. Listen to part two of our discussion.

Rule 1: No slut-shaming – Bo is allowed to have sex outside of relationships

Slut-shaming: making someone (usually a woman) feel ashamed about being or appearing sexual. You can slut-shame someone without using the word “slut,” and calling someone a “slut” isn’t always slut-shaming.

“The Mourning After”

• This episode has a very clear message that shaming or punishing women for enjoying sex is wrong. The women targeted by the albaster are not judged for being sexual.
• Because she also becomes a target of the albaster, Bo becomes a stand-in for women who enjoy sex.
• While this episode is very sex positive, Aife's actions show that a line that can be crossed in regards to sexuality.

Christianity & Sex

• Bo coming from a conservative Christian background emphasizes the shame and guilt that she felt because she's a woman, she enjoys sex, and she is bisexual.

Threesomes

• Bo has threesomes and isn't judged or punished for participating.
• “Table for Fae”: Some people find this threesome between Bo, Ryan, and Marissa problematic. First, Ryan doesn't ask Bo if she wants to have sex with Marissa before he brings her over. Second, the scene feels very voyeuristic with Ryan standing back and watching. Third, Ryan presents Marissa as “a gift” to Bo, and no one challenges him.
• “Faetal Attraction”: This threesome set the tone for how sex would be portrayed on the show in a lot of ways. Bo seems free and confident in her succubus abilities for the first time.
• If the show does another threesome, we would love to see a different configuration of genders. Though we should have mentioned the significance of making Bo the center of the threesome with Samir and Olivia. Often, the man is centered in M/F/F threesomes in pop culture.

Bo Having Sex with Women ≠ Woman Out of Control

• Often in film and television, women having sex with women becomes shorthand for a character going out of control. Recent(ish) examples of this trend include Thirteen on House and Marissa on The O.C.
• Bo's sexual encounters with women do not follow this trend. In fact, the show seems to try to avoid this suggestion. Almost all of Bo's really urgent feeds are men.

Both Male and Female Characters Portrayed as Sexual Instigators

• Male and female characters instigate sexual encounters, and characters are fluid in the roles that they take.
• Ciara and Dyson's dynamic in their sexual encounters challenges expectations. Ciara tends to be the sexual instigator with Dyson, the alpha male. Lauren, who is generally more submissive, has a more assertive side that comes out in her sexual encounters with Bo.

Does Tamsin Slut-Shame the Kitsune in 3.13?

• Melanie says no, because Tamsin has a history with the kitsune. She is being self-deprecatory, and she calls herself a slut too when she refers to being in “slut heaven.”
• Stephanie says yes, even if she also is referring to herself as a slut. She is not calling the kitsune and herself “slut” in a reclaimed, positive way.

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